I Don't Mean to Critique On Your Seduction Technique...

Lately I know I've been especially wompy (even more so than normal)! But I was thinking about it while I bobbed in the pool this afternoon and I feel like I've come a long way as a person over the past few years... even if it has been just involving small things about myself.
Obviously, coming out was a big one and not generally of much concern anymore. Another is how much more outgoing I've become. I still wouldn't consider myself an extrovert by any mean, but I am much less socially awkward than I used to be. The idea of meeting someone new, a party or even speaking in a class terrified me. These things come much easier to me now. Even making a phone call was a petrifying experience and while I still struggle with that, I can do what has to be done.
On thing in particular, though, that has really made me come to the conclusion that I am growing and becoming more comfortable with who I am is the fact that I really admit to how crazy my mind is sometimes. I used to bottle up all the crazy that I thought and felt in my head and my heart and would barely be able to keep it together. Now I let it all hang out, if you will - although... I still don't let all of the crazy out. Just a few thoughts for today, and trying to stay somewhat positive. :)

Grow a Pear.

Does anyone other than me ever have those days where if you died, it would just seem okay? Not because you feel fulfilled in any way, just because the idea of going through the mundane steps of life day to day just seems awful? Today has been one of those days. I hate myself when I feel this way. Which makes me more upset and not want to deal with anything.
On a not much cheerier subject: I know I am constantly bitching about being alone, wanting to "tuggle" and whatnot, but it is just on my mind constantly. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends very much, but it seems like there's something to a different kind of love that seems so different. Maybe that's just because it seems unobtainable to me, or almost like magic - something that doesn't really exist. It sounds completely dumb and cliché, but often times I wish that I would find some guy and maybe be casually "talking" with him, maybe even casually dating and have him text, call, e-mail - anything - saying something like "I can't stop thinking about you." It absolutely makes my heart melt. Maybe if I weren't so cynical about love and about it existence, I would be more apt to find it...