Grow a Pear.

Does anyone other than me ever have those days where if you died, it would just seem okay? Not because you feel fulfilled in any way, just because the idea of going through the mundane steps of life day to day just seems awful? Today has been one of those days. I hate myself when I feel this way. Which makes me more upset and not want to deal with anything.
On a not much cheerier subject: I know I am constantly bitching about being alone, wanting to "tuggle" and whatnot, but it is just on my mind constantly. Don't get me wrong, I love my friends very much, but it seems like there's something to a different kind of love that seems so different. Maybe that's just because it seems unobtainable to me, or almost like magic - something that doesn't really exist. It sounds completely dumb and cliché, but often times I wish that I would find some guy and maybe be casually "talking" with him, maybe even casually dating and have him text, call, e-mail - anything - saying something like "I can't stop thinking about you." It absolutely makes my heart melt. Maybe if I weren't so cynical about love and about it existence, I would be more apt to find it...