The Diabeetus!

Tonight I feel like my bitching is warranted. I've kind of felt like shit all day - like physically, not emotionally (as if that would be cause for news) because my blood sugar's been out of whack for a few days now. Today has been the worst it's been in a long time. I woke up around 5 am with it at 43, pretty low for those of you that are familiar with these numbers. I got up and had a literal shot glass of apple juice. It was back to 87, so I went back to sleep. I woke up around noon (I know I'm lazy) with it at 458!! WHUT!? I don't even know how that shit happened. So, all day it's been fluctuating like this which leaves me moody (go figure), miserable and tired. It just really suck to have to deal with it all the time. It never goes away and always has to be kept in check. It makes me feel so out of place and abnormal to have to deal with these things. I've never seen another person since going to college that has Type 1 Diabetes, which is strange to me. It also makes me feel even more isolated. Really, I just hate the fucking disease and can't wait for there to be a cure.

Teeth

I should probably preface this entry with a foreword: I love my friends very much and they mean the world to me and I love them and they love me too, but I am about to bitch about people and if I am making it sound as if nobody likes me I don't mean to. Okay - that's out of the way.
I had a thought today, one I have kind of often but just dismiss as me being silly. But the more I thought about it it seemed true. Time for the back story before the thought!! I had been hanging out a lot over at a certain house on Market St (haha) with my friend K and we always had a pretty good time and the people there seemed to like us too. K "talked" with one of the people there and everything kinda went south - I mean shit happens. Since it happened I've not been over there at all and no one that hangs out there has talked to me. Some of them still talk to K quite a bit... which brings me to the thought. They didn't really like me, they liked her and since we are besties I just came with her. Essentially, they put up with me. I am probably just being overly emotional, but I thought I had started to make new friends - no easy task for me. They didn't really care about me though. I shouldn't be upset - they shouldn't be worth my time. It's a self-esteem crusher, though.
I guess this is always a fear of mine when I make a new friend or friends. I worry they don't really like me. This time it was true... ugh. Such is life.